Good News..Bad News..It's All Relative

Well yesterday we got the news that we've been waiting on for some time. The Coast Guard had decided to "temporarily retire" Will. Everytime I say that or type it, it seems to make me chuckle just a little. I mean leave it to the government to have a category that's so definitive.

It's good on the one hand because it means that at any point in the next five years if Will's condition gets better and he is cleared by the doctor, then he can be reinstated to full active duty. It's bad on the other hand because even though we're glad that there is in fact some sort of decision, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of your life when you thought you had it all figured out is sort of a slap in the face.

It's even harder when this is what Will really wants to do with his life. He loves being a part of the Coast Guard, more than just about any of the people that we've met in the almost 10 years that he's been doing this. What breaks my heart is to the these guys that are still in who will try anything to get out, while Will would do anything to stay in.

I know that we'll be fine in the grand scheme of things and that we will together, do whatever it takes to make this a positive decision, but it's really hard to even think about sometimes.

To Breastfeed or Not???

Catching little bits and pieces of the Today Show in the mornings seems to be the everyday norm. I hear the updates on Iraq, and for the most part what’s not being done over there (which is a whole different entry), and mostly just the informational “stuff” that usually doesn’t make me stop getting ready and sit and watch a particular segment.

This morning, however, one little bit caught my attention to the point where I had to rewind it to get to the beginning to make sure that I had heard the reporter correctly.

There are apparently news ads, (I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing them) that take aim at breastfeeding. They show women doing some pretty daredevil things while they are pregnant, and the saying that you wouldn’t do anything to put your baby in harm before they are born, why do it after by not breastfeeding them.

Now I breastfed my daughter, but to scare someone into feeling like they “have” to or you’re a bad mother or to guilt them into it just doesn’t make any sense to me. Becoming a mother is hard enough without having someone else making you feel guilty for one of the first choices that you have made. And let me add to that; that it’s just what it is, a choice, and a personal one at that. It’s a choice that you make concerning you and your child. YOU, no one else.

The piece went on to say that there was even a possibility of putting warning labels on formula in the future warning mothers that hey you can give this to your baby, but don’t you feel so guilty for buying this and not breastfeeding. At least that’s the way it came across. They likened it to the warning that is put on cigarettes. Any takers on how the label on the formula should read? Hey you horrible mother, put down this formula and go breastfeed.

I started running in February of this year and after a few weeks I finally got myself to the 3.1 mile mark. I honestly don’t remember what my time was for it, especially since I was just happy that I ran that distance without stopping or rather did not keel over in pain. I am not one of those people that has always exercised, rather one of those people who used some excuse as to why I didn’t.

Then of course, once I finally got into a rhythm, I hurt my knee and it was back down to just a couple of times a week and I was barely making it 2 miles. I am happy to say that last night though I made it to the 3.1 mile mark again, and did it in 39.10. Now, I know to seasoned runners that may not be an impressive time, but to me it’s amazing.

My goal now is to try to keep adding to my distance, so my 3.1 won’t seem so long later on. Even though I don’t run every day and sometimes not even every other day, I do seem to crave it. If I go too long now, my body almost suffers from the withdrawals.

I am planning on running a 5K on June 24th with someone from work. She is most definitely a runner. She does a long run once a week, and when I say long, I’m talking 12 to 15 miles. I can’t even fathom that. Anyway, the 5K is for the family of a soldier that was killed in Iraq a little over two years ago. That statement alone makes my mind wander into so many tangents that I could start on right now, but I won’t go there, at least not now.

So, I’m 31 days from the 5K and barring any injuries, I am really looking forward to doing it. Who knows, maybe I’ll become the person making long runs on the weekends.

This is just one of the many pictures that was taken this past Saturday during Rebuilding Together. A few of my co-workers and I took part in this adventure this past Saturday. This organization helps homeowners who, for whatever reason, cannot do the necessary improvments and such on their homes. Yes, that's me on a ladder removing the old storm windows.

Our team installed a total of 10 new windows. Installing them was the easy part, it was getting the old windows and casings (I think that's what they're called) out.

The more and more I do anything involving home improvement, whether it be at my house or someone else's, I completely understand why contractors and such get paid what they do. It is so worth it.

For instance, we will never (yeah, right) try to install tile flooring again.

Anyway back to Rebuilding Together, a friend and I are contemplating joining the Board of this organization in our area. We really want to see what the process is from start to finish. I'll let you know how that goes.

Time....where does it all go?

I've been reading other blogs on the internet (of course, who hasn't these days) and one in particular that I was introduced to by my very best friend in the world is www.wouldashoulda.com.

Can I just tell you that it scares me to think that this woman who writes this, and doesn't even know me, can read my mind and know my thoughts? Of course, she puts them down on paper much better than I ever thought about doing, so I love even more to read it.

As some of you know I'm from the south and now have lived in Maine for three years. (Has it really been that long?) I know I've always gone on and on about the differences and of course they are still there, but what scares and fascinates me all at the same time is how much I've come to love it here and now can't imagine living anywhere else.

I believe in my last posting I mentioned that my husband had something medically going on with him. Well, they gave us a diagnosis of syringomyelia, which after looking everything up on it I could and talking with other people, which of course scared the bejesus out of me.

What frustrates me to no end is that once we got this diagnosis and were referred, yet again, to another specialist, who tells us that yes he has this disorder, but guess what, it's not what's causing the symptoms that have been going on for the last 6 months. Now I know it wasn't the doctors fault, but I could have scratched his eyes out.

So now we are back to square one with the primary doctor and another whole slew of specialists. What I find so ironic is, that in the middle of everything, they have scheduled his annual physical. Like they haven't poked, prodded and done every test known to mankind in the past 6 months, now they have to do the "normal" physical. At the rate we're going he will have seen every doctor in Maine before we are done.

AND.... in the middle of all these appointments, work (for which he drives 75 miles one way), home, our daughter and everyday things that we all have, he still has physical therapy at least 2 times a week.

Stay tuned, I'm going to a 2nd grade orientation tonight. Did they have these when we were younger? Here's what YOU can expect from the 2nd grade. Wait I thought my daughter was going to the 2nd grade????

Wow, almost a year since I've been on here. Hmmm, I guess it falls into the "I really meant to keep up with that" category. Let's catch up then. Still in Maine. Still not sure for how long. But then again who knows how long anyone is going to live anywhere. Your life can change on a dime.

I guess we all have dreams when we're growing up about how our lives are going to be. Grow up, get married, have kids (or not) and live happily ever after. One thing we didn't realize is that there is an awful lot of space to fill up in between all of that happening.

What part of growing up teaches you to deal with life's blows that you are thrown when you become an adult? Are you able to handle them any better as an adult if you're thrown those blows early on?

We all make plans about the rest of our lives every day. The problem with that is life never goes according to plan, which is one way it's interesting and another, so terrifying.

My husband has been going through something medically for the past 6 months. I never thought at 32 and 33 we would be worrying about things like that. We've, or rather, he has been to every doctor you could think of and no one can come up with a diagnosis. That in and of itself is so frustrating. There are days when I could just scream all day. Then there are those days that remind me that no matter what we are still truly lucky.

Yet, it still feels as though we've been going down the highway of life and we came upon this very sharp curve on a road that we've never been on, and we were going too fast and we're still in the middle of the curve, not knowing if we're going to come out of it, and be left with our hearts pounding from the nervousness of it all, or crash right in the middle and have to figure out how to get the "car" going again.

Maine

As most people who read this know, I live in Maine. And of course you know that hasn't always been the case. After two years here I would have thought that the differences here would soon begin to fade and that I would just settle into everything. Not so.

My family and I went out to try a new restaurant yesterday. Don't get me wrong, the food was good, but can I just say BLAND. I'm not even sure they salted any of it. To most people here that would have gone unnoticed, but of course, not to me.

Then there is the school year. No one here thinks it's strange that their children are in school until June 23 or later. Years later, and I mean years later, I can't imagine not being out of school in May.

Then again I never thought I would be married with a child and living in Maine. Yet here I am going on eight years being married, a 6 year old daughter, living just about as far north as you can in the United States and loving every minute of it.

If you had asked me at 22 what I would be doing at almost 32, I can bet not one of those instances would have come up.